I’m writing this at work on my lunch because I just feel the need to. I’m very anxious today; I threw up before work and all day I’ve been just “GO GO GO” all day and I need this break.

Last week was rough: I threw up before work, I worked almost 60 hours, and it was also that time of the month so I was already feeling super exhausted and anxious. I figured that this week would be better (because literally how couldn’t it be) and here I am, still very anxious and exhausted.

Last night I fell asleep at 8:30pm, which is very early for me. I have barely any appetite, I’m exhausted and I literally can’t tell if I’m actually ill or if it’s just my anxiety. Lately my anxiety has been sneaking into my dreams as well which is torture because they’re so realistic that I wake up confused and literally don’t know what’s real or not.

My next appt with my therapist isn’t until January 31- I’m always on the cancellation list but my boyfriend is suggesting that I try to talk to her on the phone before my appointment. I’m trying to deal with it on my own because I feel like I should be able to, its just rough right now.