Rough.

It’s insane to me how intense my anxiety gets when things change. I recently got a new job, and I’ve thrown up every morning before going to work except for on my first day. I’m not sick or pregnant, it’s literally just my anxiety. I wake up with cold sweats and I’m shaking… I’m making myself physically ill and it’s making me so mad! I can literally sit and tell myself that nothing will be that bad, and that people at my new job already like me and are happy that I’m there to help, yet the physical symptoms won’t go away.

I started a new breathing exercise that one of my good friends recommended to me, and it honestly made me feel a lot better and it calmed me down. The problem is that when I go back to breathing naturally, I almost immediately start thinking about something stressful and my heart starts racing again and it’s an endless cycle. I push the thoughts away, and then they come back. I keep pushing them away, but the worst part of the day is always right when I wake up.

Luckily I am starting therapy on Friday after a couple months of waiting, and I’m just hoping that I really don’t need to increase my medication, however I also cannot be throwing up foam/bile every morning before work. I’m trying so hard to remind myself to take it a day at a time, and not to take things too seriously.

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