I think it is safe to say I am glad that writing every day was not one of my new year’s resolutions, because I would have failed miserably; unfortunately, I think that is probably why I didn’t care to make any. I never follow through on my goals that I set for myself, and it is very defeating to be aware that I am the only one standing in my way. I am extremely proud of myself with how great I’ve done with my low-carb diet. Recently I have had more cheat days than I’d like to admit, but I am aware and I am ready to get serious again and start going to the gym.
The issue is that I always say things like that, and it doesn’t happen. “I’ll start exercising more,” or “I’m going to sign up for another yoga class,” and I may do it for a little while, but then I’ll suddenly lose my motivation and am back to laying in bed, mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and Twitter. If I’m not doing that then I’m probably crying while watching Grey’s Anatomy or This is Us. I feel like the winter/weather has a lot to do with it, but I want to overcome that and be able to get out of the negative mindset.
I feel like so far, 2019 is not off to the best start. I’ve had car trouble, work sucks, and I’ve been sad/unmotivated. I am trying to have a social life again, which is helpful, but I also want to focus on myself. I want to read more, and write more. I want to get back into poetry, and I have an urge to dabble in short horror stories. I’d like to learn to play the keyboard/piano and I also would like to take another pole class or maybe try something new. I know that this year I will be going to Florida and on another cruise which will be exciting. I plan to get a few more tattoos and hopefully attend a couple of concerts.
I want this year to be better than 2018, and I am the person who has to make that happen. I want to change the way I see/react to certain things, and focus more on the positive things in life, and being able to let go of unneeded stress/guilt. I have to remind myself that I am strong, and I am smart. I am the one in control of my life. I can make my life great, and I want to have a great life. ♡