You can hear it in the silence.

I haven’t written in a while. I haven’t done anything in a while. I mean I have gone to a couple of pumpkin patches, and I did survive a haunted house… but other than that I haven’t been motivated.

A few weeks ago I was reading a couple of self-improvement books, I was writing in journals, and I even tried an aerial yoga class. I was feeling motivated and good, but then I kept getting stuck in my head. My best friend and I weren’t talking and it was really bothering me, and making me evaluate myself as a person. I starting thinking that maybe I am not the greatest friend. I don’t go out a lot, because lately I have been liking being home. I don’t feel motivated to be helpful, but then I sit around at home feeling guilty. I just kept thinking these terrible thoughts about myself, and then I was attracting negative energy.

I ended up not going to see Mayday Parade because I was bailed on, and all of my alternative options fell through. I also had misplaced my favorite ring that my boyfriend bought for me last year (which has since been found), but I was feeling super overwhelmed. I was becoming so upset and I decided I’d open my fortune cookie that I got from Panda Express earlier that day, because I love fortune cookies. I took the plastic wrapper off and cracked open the cookie, only to find nothing inside… so naturally I burst into tears. “When it rains, it pours,” is the truest shit I’ve ever heard in my life.

But luckily for me, even thought I didn’t go to Mayday Parade, I was able to hang out with a good friend of mine and go through a haunted house (although it was absolutely terrifying). Not only that, but my best friend ended up reaching out to me and we had an open line of communication and we were able to work everything out. I plan to start reading again, and journal-ling, and I would like to start practicing yoga and/or meditation more often, but I wanted to start here. ♡

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