“You’re being selfish.”
That one hurts the most.
It hurts because we already feel guilty for “being selfish.” We feel guilty when we can’t help. We feel guilty when we cancel/bail on plans. We feel guilty when we don’t respond to messages. To be told that we don’t care enough about others, or that we only care about ourselves is hurtful; especially when we do care. Sometimes we care so much about others that can be physically/emotionally exhausting. Sometimes, we start to actually feel other people’s emotions, to the point where we hold them and cannot separate them from our own. Sometimes we NEED to take a step away in order for us to heal ourselves. And trust me, we overthink saying “no” or canceling anything because we are so focused on how others are feeling and making sure everyone else is okay. And when we finally say “no” after weeks/months/years of constantly doing everything to please others, just know it took a lot to do that. For some of us, it may feel like an accomplishment to say “no.” So to accomplish something and then to be told that you’re being selfish, just brings back those feelings of guilt and self-hatred. & I know I am not speaking for everyone, as we all have our own minds & not everyone feels this way/experiences this… but I share this in hopes that there are others like me who can relate. ♡