Self care.

Today has been a good day.

I say that, yet today was an extremely high volume, stressful day at work. By the end of my shift, I had taken more calls than I ever have in this position. Not only that, but I also stayed late, and I only took a 20 minute lunch. However, I had decided that today was my day to start caring more about myself. As busy as it was throughout the day, I kept reminding myself that I am only one person, and I can only get done as much as I can. Honestly, putting myself in that mindset really made me take on the day with more ease. Instead of being in the constant state of anxiety about the workload, I just embraced it and put my best effort in.

I think what also helped is that I also started a low-carb diet again today. I’ll be honest, usually when I have a shitty day at work I will reward myself on my lunch hour and go get a sugary drink from Starbucks or I’ll go get a McChicken, but today I didn’t.  I made some cold brew last night, and I brought some to work along with a salad for lunch. This evening I’ve snacked on some cheese and slim jims, and now I am treating myself to a Miller Lite (hey, it’s only 3.2 carbs per bottle). I honestly think just eating healthier makes me feel better in general, and I want to continue making progress with my physical and mental health.

Another change I’ve made is for the first time in nearly 6 years I am no longer taking my birth control pill. I decided to come off of it for many reasons, but the main one is for my mental health. I have been on a birth control pill that has a different dose of hormones every week, and in the past few months I have finally put together how my mood is almost directly correlated with the dose of hormones I am taking. The first week after my period I always feel motivated and I usually am happier in general, and by the 3rd week I am feeling drained, depressed, agitated, and just miserable overall. I am hoping that coming off of my birth control will help to stabilize my emotions, and I also want to be able to let my body be able to function normally again.

With all of that being said, my boyfriend and I will be taking other precautions to avoid becoming pregnant. I would really like to work on myself and be happy with who I am before I decide to bring any children into the world. I want to be able to cope and deal with stress and my anxiety, so that is does not become a burden for my child. I never want my child to have to worry about me, and I want them to be able to depend on me.  I also want to be able to depend on myself, and that is why I plan to continue this blog and continue to treat myself better. ♡home

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