How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

Honestly, I’m struggling with setting and completing goals. I’m going to start seeing a new therapist soon as I feel like I just yap the whole sessions with my current one and it feels more like just venting to a friend, but I’d prefer some structure and guidance. I have a very “all or nothing” mindset which can put me into some unhealthy extremes, and I need to figure out ways to deal with it and learn to trust myself more.