After an extremely rough day yesterday, I am feeling okay today. I woke up a few times last night thinking about the tragedy I witnessed yesterday, but I was able to re-ground myself and keep reminding myself of where I was and that I was safe.

I haven’t cried again since my shower yesterday, and honestly thinking back I am just so grateful for my boyfriend. He always is just there to hold me and witness me and I am so lucky to have him. He’s always been my rock and even though it’s been almost 12 years, it feels like we just keep getting closer and the love gets stronger.

I told myself I wouldn’t speak about it today, but I did open up a bit to my manager because she’s seen so much tragedy in her life and she told me she could handle it. It felt better to talk and especially since I didn’t cry. I definitely felt the goosebumps and my body almost going back in freeze response, but I was able to talk and breathe through.

This is not something I want to keep thinking about, and I know it’ll take a bit to get it filed away. Just trying to remain grateful.