Thursday Affirmations

With the weekend right around the corner, I’d like to take time to write down some goals/affirmations for myself. Feel free to share some of your own in the comments! I hope everyone is having a great day!

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I will achieve great things.

I am able to achieve my goals and dreams with ease.

I attract what is meant for me, and release what is not for me.

I am deserving of success and wealth.

I am allowed to say “no” and part from everything that does not serve me.

I welcome wealth and abundance into my life.

I am in tune with my intuitions and desires, and work towards goals.

I am filled with positive, healthy habits.

I am able to successfully prioritize my goals and desires.

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MonDay Dreaming

A few weeks ago I decided to switch my weekly posts to Mondays instead of Sundays, because I noticed on Mondays that I would typically get more traction, but to be honest it has kind of thrown me off! I am likely going to go back to Sundays, but I also keep saying that I’m going to write more, and I haven’t been; but I have a reason for that.

I’ve been trying to spend more time reading books; my main focus has been “self-help” books, which has honestly been so inspiring to me. I am loving reading work from today different authors and finding new perspectives and ways to basically re-frame your mindset in a more positive way. I know that if I read about more topics, I’ll only have more ideas to write about! In which case, I will begin to write more.

In reality, I’d love to write a book one day, and honestly I intend to do so. I always have told my boyfriend that we should write a book on relationships, and although I’d still love to do that one day, I think I’d like to write a self-help book one day. Not only that, but I’ve also always enjoyed poetry and would love to maybe even do some sort of positive self-help poetry book! I hope that as I continue on my self-care journey, I’ll find more and more ways that we can help ourselves and portray such ideas within my writings.

I’ve been trying to dedicate my free time to reading, listening to self-help/inspirational podcasts, and also I’ve been working out! I’ve been going to the gym a few days a week, and I’ve been going on walks whenever it’s nice out! It’s nice actually dedicating time for myself that is beneficial to future me!

I’m off to the park to go on a walk so I can soak up some of this sunshine before it’s gone! Make sure to take time to yourself today, even if it’s just a couple minutes!

Luck

When I was in high school, I would often win concert tickets off the radio. My friends would ask me if I was somehow cheating to get these tickets, but truly I’d just plan my days around when tickets were being given out! I’d set reminders/alarms in my phone, and I’d make sure if I was at home to use my parents home phone along with my cellphone (landlines always go through faster for me, and is how I won most of these tickets).

In the past I won tickets to Kanye, Mikey Cyrus, Kid Cudi, Bryce Vine, and even front row Jingle Bash tickets one year! It’s been a little while since I’ve won any, granted covid has been a thing so shows really haven’t been going on, but this weekend my luck struck again: Russ DM’d me on instagram giving me two tickets to his upcoming show in Chicago!

Now, I honestly couldn’t tell you if I was more excited to get a message from him or the fact that I’ll be getting to see him live, but wow was I jumping around like a little kid jacked up on sugar LOL. The nice thing is that my boyfriend also listens to him and likes his music, so we will get to enjoy the show together!

What is super ironic about this whole thing is that I’ve been on a self-care journey for quite a while now, and I’m learning a lot about manifesting and gratitude. My coworker had actually recommended Russ’ book “It’s All In Your Head” to me a while back and she sent me his digital book via email. Well on Saturday morning my friend was over and was still asleep, so I decided to take that time to read the rest of his book on my phone, and I was completely inspired by it!

When my friend woke up I was telling her about some of the stuff I read (I’ve attached an excerpt from the book on here as I had shared it to my instagram page), and was just reflecting back on the book throughout the day! It was later in the afternoon when we were back at my house and I saw Russ had posted an instagram story “2 min ago” and he was talking about giving out tickets to fans as he had been all week. I immediately messaged him in hopes that he’d see it, and within a couple more minutes my wish was granted!

I am still honestly in shock that he DM’d me and that my boyfriend and I get to see him live, and I’m so very grateful as I’ve been missing concerts so much lately! It’s next month and it can’t come soon enough! Now I’m inspired to keep looking for more concerts and ticket giveaways!

I hope everyone had a great weekend and has a great week ahead! Sending you all love and positivity!

Growing

As I am growing, I am learning that I need to stop muting myself. What I mean by that is I often won’t say what I’m feeling in fear of hurting others, but in reality I know my intention behind my thoughts and I’m never trying to be malicious at all. People even often tell me how nice I am and how I’m great at talking to people, but I don’t always feel that way with the people closest to me.

I just saw this post that said “Let’s normalize asking questions for clarity, instead of moving based on the story you’ve created in your mind, which may not be true;” I feel like I want that from my friends, but how I can expect that when I don’t do it! I want to start vocalizing when I have questions or thoughts that come up, so that I don’t sit with them and ruin my own inner peace or growth.

For example, one of my good friends recently reached out and asked if she could express something without causing problems/drama, and of course I said yes. The conversation went well and we are good, but now I am the one who is wanting to express my feelings about it and I feel like a scared little kid who is avoiding confrontation.

I know that my feelings are valid and I also know I can express my thoughts without being an asshole, but at the same time I never know how people will react and that is what gives me the anxiety. I would hate to unintentionally make someone upset, but at the same time, I can’t make myself upset by holding in all these feelings/thoughts.

My boyfriend has always been very direct and he’s still very polite and easy to talk to- and I don’t just mean with me, I mean with all our friends and family as well. He always asks questions when he wants clarification because he knows he’s not trying to hurt anyone, he’s just trying to understand; and that’s my goal as well! Talking to him definitely helps, but if anyone else has any tips or tricks, please feel free to comment!

Crabby Monday

I don’t really know why, but I’m hella crabby today. I feel like I was fine earlier this morning, but dealing with work issues is making me impatient and irritable. I’m on lunch now so I’m just taking a minute to breathe and write in here!

This weekend was nice; my boyfriend and I spent the weekend together just chilling and I was able to organize some paperwork for us which was much needed. We got smoothies yesterday which we haven’t done in a little bit so that was nice.

I’m missing the warm weather we had last week and am hoping it comes back soon! I feel like this is the 3rd winter of this year already and I’m over it. However, the sun is shining today so I am grateful for that!

I’m going to the gym after work and my boyfriend is going to meet me there, so hopefully I can work out some of this weird crabby energy. I hope everyone else is having a good Monday!

Bird Set Free

Today I did something I never have, and I posted a short video of me singing on instagram. No music/instrumentals, just my voice, and I don’t feel insecure about it! I realized how I normally would feel weird or embarrassed, but I really don’t care if people hate it or think I’m awful, because I had fun!

It definitely is nice to have friend and some strangers comment and tell me that they think I sound good, but at the same time, it really doesn’t even matter! It’s more so nice to actually just feel good about myself and feel confident without feeling that need for validation.

Having the sun out this Monday has me feeling happy and motivated; I hope everyone reading is able to find something happy about today!

Self Care Sunday

Today felt like a very productive day, which always makes me feel very happy and accomplished. I love having days like this, and I know I only have many more to come if I keep working hard on focusing on the positives in every situation.

Grocery shopping is normally something I complain about, but I knew it was a task I had to complete today. I reminded myself that it is important to look at the situation with gratitude; I am thankful that I can afford to grocery shop for my home, and I am thankful that there are so many different food options to choose from! I felt a lot better getting ready to go to the grocery store than I normally would have, and I truly believe that is because I took that time to acknowledge the fact that grocery shopping is a blessing, and a privilege that I am lucky to have.

Something else that was a blessing today was I randomly got a notification on my phone that my aunt from out of town sent me money on venmo! The memo said: “Gas, groceries, meal out, whatever you want. :)” I was honestly taken aback, but immediately was so grateful and I sent her a message thanking her for this sweet gift. I put it right in our account to go towards groceries, and I’m currently making steaks in the air fryer for us! It’s truly incredible how it seems that when you pay attention to your blessings, that more seem to show up!

I may not have gone to the gym today or cleaned out my closet, but I did other productive things and I am happy for myself! I read some of my book (The Power is Within You- Louise Hay) out on my balcony, I listened to a Phil in the Blanks podcast, and I treated myself to an iced coffee! I keep reading posts and listening to podcasts about focusing on one thing at a time, and truly looking at life day by day instead of stressing about the “end goals,” and it’s truly has changed my perspective. For example, if I have the thought that I should go to the gym, but I truly don’t feel like going, I will at least take a few minutes to stretch or do a small workout with some dumbbells at home.

My past, perfectionist self wouldn’t have even done that because if I’m not going all in it’s not worth it, but that’s not true! If I would have done what I’m doing now each time that I didn’t go, I’d likely be a lot stronger/more toned now than I am! Instead of getting down on myself about that, I’m just making more conscious efforts and decisions moving forward; taking it day by day makes life feel a lot easier.

What did you do for yourself today? If nothing yet, please take some time for yourself! It doesn’t have to be something major, simply washing your face, reading a chapter of a book, or lighting your favorite candle can be an act of self care! You deserve time for yourself; remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup!

Friends.

I have a few close friends; some that I see monthly, others that I see every couple weeks, and some I don’t see for several months. We are all adults who have our own busy lives, and luckily all my friends are very understanding of this. However, as we grow older our needs change, what we want/need in our lives is always shifting, and sometimes friends drift apart.

I struggle sometimes with what I am looking for and needing in a friendship, because of course I want to surround myself with positive people who are wanting to progress in life, but I also am not saying I never want people to express their emotions/feelings to me; I mean we all need to vent!

I guess I just don’t agree with a lot of my friends with certain things, but at the same time we are still able to see through those things and continue a regular friendship; I think more-so it comes down to that I feel like I cannot support a behavior that I do not agree with. But then I’m also like, I can ignore that and remember that everything happens for a reason/it is what it is.

I guess that’s where I struggle, as part of me is like “am I too judgemental with my friends who I don’t agree with?” or are they truly not good for my progress in life? I guess it comes down to, would I rather be alone than have them as friends? That gets hard too because I am a person who enjoys solitude, so it’s hard to say if I’d be cutting people off for the right reasons or not.

I had a best friend years ago, we were friends in high school and we were friends for a couple years after that. I called her my best friend, but in reality we never had any real conversations. One of the reasons we aren’t friends anymore was because I couldn’t deal with her immaturity anymore, but I had also been coming to a realization toward the end of our friendship that she never had her own opinions on anything, which made it hard for any real conversations to happen.

It felt like she just said what other people were saying, but had no idea why she was doing that or how she actually felt about it. She prioritized drinking/partying as well as taking pictures for social media. I’ll admit, I fell into that with her in that friendship; I was new to social media as my parents wouldn’t let me have Facebook until I was 16, and I enjoyed taking/posting pictures of myself having a good time with friends, and she was my best friend for that.

Over time she started disrespecting me, and I’d honestly usually let it go. She’d make fun of me, she’d talk all about her sex life but if I said anything about me and my boyfriend she’d gag and tell me to stop talking about it, but overall she had no respect for me whatsoever. The last straw was when I went to visit her at her college campus to celebrate my 21st birthday.

We celebrated a week after my birthday since her dad and I share a birthday, and I drove up to see her and she said we would have a girls night out drinking and we’d just stay at her sorority house that night. I met one of her other friends and we started bar crawling. At the last crowded bar there was a dance floor, and she wanted to go in and dance. I’m all for dancing with my girls so I said yes, but that quickly turned into her finding some guy to start grinding on. Mind you, I am in a committed relationship and had been for five years at that point, so I’m not out here trying to having dudes dance all over me.

So I exited the dance floor and hung out by the bar talked to a couple girls I met (you know how drunk girls always become friends? LOL), well eventually my “bff” comes out from the dance floor with that same dude she was all over, and she tells me she is going home with him. I am freshly 21 in a college town that I’m unfamiliar with, and she just told me she’s leaving me there. I asked her “where am I supposed to go??” and she gave me the code to her sorority house and left with this dude.

I called my boyfriend (mind you, it’s like 2am) and asked him to stay on the phone with me while I walked a couple blocks back to her place. He was infuriated of course, and I was too, but the alcohol likely helped to keep me more calm. I was very observant on my walk and truly just wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to get attacked/raped because you hear all these horror stories about college campuses. Luckily I made it to her place safely and have obviously lived to tell the tale, but safe to say that was basically the end of our friendship.

We did talk afterwards as she got mad at me that my boyfriend messaged her telling her she was a shit friend (which I didn’t know he was going to do), and she said that I didn’t want to be her friend because my boyfriend convinced me of that. Like no girl, you left me alone in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar area while we were celebrating MY BIRTHDAY! But once she was mad about that we had a text argument back and forth where I ended up just blocking her completely, and that was finally the end of a five year friendship.

The problem for me is that it took five years for me to realize that she was not a good friend to me, even when my boyfriend had been somewhat telling me that the whole time. He also says that about current friends, and my mom does too, which makes me feel like I am possibly just settling for friends again when I really don’t even need them. I don’t mean that in a malicious way, I more-so mean that I’ve grown to know and love myself a lot more over the last few years, and I am very content with being alone and having minimal friends.

I need to do some exploring within myself to see what it is that I am wanting/needing in my life when it comes to friends. As I grow older, my priorities are changing, life is changing, and sometimes you need to let certain people go to allow room for growth. I’ll be sitting with this for a while, as I feel I already have been. Please feel free to share your own story or advice in the comments, as maybe we can help each other.

Wishing Well

I feel it is important to think of the people we love and care about, and wish them well. I was just sitting here on my lunch break and I know my boyfriend is back to work after a four-day weekend, and I’m just hoping he is having a good day. I know it’s likely stressful for him, but I hope things go as smoothly as they can for him and it’s not too rough; he works so hard and deserves to have good days!

I also hope my friends who are trying to conceive are able to do so soon. There are a couple different people I know who are struggling to get pregnant, and another friend who recently started trying, and all I can do is hope and pray that they can get their wishes granted. I remember watching an old friend go through infertility issues and a miscarriage after IVF, and it was so heartbreaking to see her so upset; but now she has two healthy boys and every time I see photos of them I get so happy for her. I pray my other friends are able to experience that joy.

To my friends struggling with mental health and insecurities, I hope they are able to find the strength to keep going each day and take the time to work on themselves, for themselves. I just want my loved ones to love themselves unconditionally- we all have “flaws,” but they make us who we are! There is so much beauty in our uniqueness if we just take the time to see it in a more positive light. I know it’s a lot of hard work, but it’s the most important work.

I also hope my fellow blog readers/followers are all doing well! I appreciate you taking time to read my posts, and I hope you can find some time for yourself today; whether it’s taking a bath, reading a good news article, lighting your favorite candle, or simply taking a moment to breathe. You deserve time for yourself. ♡

Monday Affirmations

Happy Monday everyone! I hope everyone is starting off their week on the right foot. If not, try to take a few minutes of your day to focus in on your emotions and what you’re feeling, and then think about how want to feel and write that down or say it aloud (whichever is easier).

I am feeling a little off today recovering from a fun, yet exhausting weekend; so I’m going to list some affirmations for myself. Feel free to write yours in the comments if you feel like it!

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Good energy flows to me and leaves me feeling light and happy.

I attract positive energy and good vibes.

I am thankful for my health.

I am grateful for my family and friends.

I am able to see the good in each day.

I attract positive, healthy friendships.

I release all negative energy and thoughts of self doubt.

I release all heavy, tired feelings.

I already have everything I need to be happy in life.

Good news flows to me in abundance.

Money flows to me in abundance.