Another Year Done

Yesterday was my birthday, and I’ve decided to use that as my own personal “New Year” in a way. I wouldn’t say I am making any resolutions, but mainly just setting intentions. All of 2022 I have been trying to focus on self-love, and I plan to continue this journey, but it’s always good to come back to the drawing board and look at our priorities to see if they are the same or if we need to add/remove anything from the list.

I haven’t necessarily had a structured path along this journey, and that has been actually working well! Considering that I was a control freak and always have anxiety when plans change, I am pleasantly surprised by myself. What I’ve done is made sure that when I find myself with free time (or when I realize I’ve been scrolling on instagram for too long), I’ll ask internally “what do I want to do for myself?”

Now sometimes we have our guilty pleasures, such as watching reality TV or continuing to scroll through reels, but what about the things that make you feel good about yourself afterwards? I know that after I read a book, or even part of a book, I always feel good afterwards! I have taken time to give myself more knowledge and insight, and now I can use that information to keep growing.

I also always feel better after taking a walk outside. I often am also listening to some sort of inspirational podcast; currently I love listening to Jay Shetty and Gabrielle Bernstein, and I feel like I have learned so much simply listening to their shows. I find myself happier after I take time to sit and write, whether it’s in my physical journal, a long caption on an instagram reel, or a blog post!

Something I have been wanting to get into is meditation. This is something I somewhat attempted in the past, but I always felt like I had a racing mind and at the time it made me feel more anxious. After learning more about meditation, I’ve learned that it’s different for everyone and really anyone can do it- you just have to focus on your breath. This morning I did a 10-minute guided meditation from The Rising Circle’s Youtube channel, and I felt so relaxed afterwards! I want to try more guided meditations first and hopefully will be able to ease into my own personal meditation.

I know I always feel better after a good workout as well, I mean who doesn’t? I don’t necessarily want to push myself as I know I still have an obsessive/addictive personality, so I am trying to add at-home workouts into my routine. I am trying to find a healthy balance in my life, while not neglecting my physical health. When I was going to the gym, I was super hard on myself mentally if I ever missed a work out. I don’t want to be discouraging myself and being unhealthy about my goals and habits, so this is an area I am still working on.

As I get older I also want to take care of my health more, and I want to do this from the inside. I need to start eating at home more, and I recently downloaded an app my friend told me about that helps give meal suggestions. I signed up and chose a gradual change as I don’t want to overwhelm myself, and I’d rather be realistic than try to over-perform/achieve as is in my nature. Quick fixes don’t work, so I plan to take the slow approach.

Overall, I am staying focused on my goals and what is important to me. I want to continue to work on my health and mental health, as I deserve that. I also know I am a better girlfriend, friend and family me never when I am taking care of myself and setting boundaries, and I believe everyone I love deserves the best version of me.

Giving Grace

I did so well about starting my morning routine on Monday, but I haven’t been getting to bed early enough and that made it harder yesterday and today. Today I am up earlier than I was yesterday and I am here writing in my blog, so I count that as a victory!

Normally I am super hard on myself, but I am actively working on trying to give myself more grace and be the friend to me that I am to others. I have no problem reminding friends that we’re all human and it’s okay to deviate from plans or make mistakes, as long as we learn and grow, so why wouldn’t I deserve that same treatment?

Do I wish I would have stayed more consistent this week? Of course! But does that mean I should give up completely and call it a failure? Absolutely not! All I can try to do is be better than I was yesterday, and remind myself that I am doing this as a benefit to myself.

The goal tonight is to be off my phone by 9pm and asleep by 10pm, that way I can get my eight hours of sleep; this will make it easier for me to get up in the morning. I was normally in bed around 10pm for a while, but I think having Covid and sleeping all throughout the day kinda messed the schedule up.

A lot is going on around me lately that could be stress inducing, but I am doing my best to remember that I can only control my mindset and my reactions. Everything happens for a reason, and when things don’t work out, it’s usually because something better is on the horizon! All will happen as it should.

New Week, New Start

I decided to try out a new morning routine today. I am sitting at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee, water and my notebook. I wrote a bit in my journal, and now I am typing this on my phone as I left my laptop in the other room where my boyfriend is sleeping, and I figure this will be a relatively short post anyways as it’s about time for my stretching/workout!

I kept saying I wanted to start a new morning routine, but last week every time my alarm went off I just felt like I needed more sleep and hit that snooze button. I was also recovering from covid so I wanted to give my body the rest it needed. Now that I am finally feeling myself again, I made sure to push through the urge to snooze and got my ass up. I am not married to this set routine, but I have to start experimenting to see what works best for me!

I can already feel that this is going to be a good week! I am excited for what is to come, and to see how I feel after implementing this new plan! My intentions for the week are to stay focused on my current goals and stay positive! I hope everyone has a great week ahead!

morning views.

Leo Season

I go back and forth between dabbling in the idea of astrology and horoscopes; it can be really fun looking for insight, even if the messages are vague and couple apply to many other people. Since I am a Leo and my birthday is in less than two weeks, I am deciding to be extra this month and celebrate myself during this season!

In reality I have been growing more confidence in myself and my choices, and I’m using this time to really explore this part of me and see where I can go! I know I love writing, so I am trying to write more! I also enjoy reading and podcasts, so I have also been making sure to take more time for those activities. I also decided that if I want to go swimming or roller blading and no one wants to go, I’m just going to do it anyways!

For the longest time I wouldn’t do things alone, mainly out of paranoia as I grew up in a home with helicopter parents and a mom who was obsessed with “The First 48” and “Nancy Grace,” but I also would worry about what others around me were thinking. But just as I don’t care what others around me are doing with their lives, they don’t care about mine! Strangers watching an almost 27-year-old roller blading alone at a rink may think I am being a child or may make an initial judgment, but who cares?

Well, apparently I did for the longest time, but I am realizing now that if you are living your life for other people, your life is not yours. We have to focus on what makes us happy. We have to focus on what our needs are. We have to focus on what our inner child needs from us, whether it’s speaking to or doing activities that bring healing and joy. Do what feels innately right for you, because you deserve it! And per some of the astrology stuff I have read, now is the season for everyone to do this! Leo season just started yesterday (7/22), so it is just getting started!

Ignorance or Negligence

I saw this disturbing article yesterday about a mom that has been accused of exploiting her three-year-old daughter on Tik Tok. The article featured other Tik Tok videos of women who were digging into the rabbit hole of her account. They were exposing the horrific comments that GROWN MEN were leaving on her videos, such as “do another bath video with less bathing suit” and other disgusting posts.

Others on social media say that the mom who is posting these videos of her daughter is definitely aware and sees these comments, yet still continues to post her to their millions of followers. There are videos including her in a bathing suit having bath time, as well as her trying to put a tampon in??? She is clothed but even so, how on earth is that necessary and why would you post that knowing there are sickening people on the internet, let alone on your page?!

I can understand that kids are kids and taking videos of them being adorable and loving is 100% normal; it makes sense to want to save these memories for yourself and to show them later! Also, wanting to share these memories with friends/family is normal and they all usually appreciate it! However, the random people on the internet who don’t know you or your child, they don’t need to see into your every day life. Most people can agree that it is absolutely NEVER okay to sexualize a child and this is a problem with “society,” but unfortunately this is the reality, and we have to live in the world as it is.

Child sex trafficking is happening in every U.S. State, as well as everywhere around the globe. I understand that ignorance can be bliss, but when it is YOUR CHILD who is involved, it is your duty as a parent to keep them safe! If you are aware of the risk, and you see 400,000 creepy men saving your toddlers videos, at what point does ignorance turn into negligence? Is the money and attention earned from posting her really worth risking her safety?

Speaking of monetization, the article I read also briefly discussed how there’s a lot of grey area with child labor laws and social media. Of course again, you assume or hope that a lot of the videos posted are honest moments that were caught on camera, but when you’re forcing your kids to do/say certain things for the camera while you’re being paid for the views, is that breaking a law?

Technically no, because they aren’t protected by any child labor laws… but that doesn’t mean that will last forever. Another thought I had was what if those children turn 18 and then decide they want to sue their parents for all the money they made off of them? Could they do that? Children can’t make certain decisions and they aren’t considered an “adult” until 18, so could they sue for exploitation?

It’s impossible to know what the future holds; I’d like to believe that most people are doing their best with the information and resources they have, but when I see innocent children being put in harms way it sometimes makes it harder to believe that. I hope to be a parent one day, and although it is impossible to protect them from everything, there are still reasonable, common sense steps that can, and should be taken. Likes, follows, attention, money… none of that is worth a child’s safety. #SaveOurChildren #RISEUPGETLOUD


SOURCES: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/wren-eleanor-exploitation-tiktok/ https://www.unicefusa.org/child-trafficking-us

Check out these organizations working hard to Save Our Children:

Our Rescue: https://www.ourrescue.org/ Thorn: https://www.thorn.org/ CAST: https://www.castla.org/

Health Update

After two years of getting through the pandemic without catching covid, I finally tested positive last week. I went to the immediate care because I thought I had a double ear infection and/or a sinus infection because my whole head felt like I was underwater; when I blew my nose I could hear cracking and there was so much pressure behind my ears it was insane.

Not to mention the never-ending headaches were something else, it hurt just to move my eyes around in my head. I felt super fatigued and overall just like garbage. My boyfriend also unfortunately came down with symptoms as well; he had a low-grade fever and he actually threw up a couple of times during our quarantine.

I will say we are extremely blessed to have had relatively minor cases and I’m also glad we know so much more about Covid now compared to two years ago. We knew just to stay inside and rest, drink plenty of water, and we also supplemented with Vitamin D and Zinc. I tried to make sure I was eating healthier options, although I definitely door-dashed some McDonalds (hey, I’m only human)!

I am back to work tomorrow and have a doctors appointment on Wednesday to follow up with my OB. I had originally made an appointment with her as I’ve been having excruciating pain during my ovulation and I want to make sure I don’t have cysts or something else going on. The pain happened the last two cycles and it had happened once earlier in the year as well, but it definitely doesn’t feel normal. I’m hoping she will order an ultrasound so that they can look at my uterus/ovaries and make sure everything is okay.

I also want to talk to her about the possible chemical pregnancy that I had earlier this month. I had some weird PMS this time around and was having some nausea and was crying at almost everything which isn’t like my normal PMS, so when it was a day late I decided to take an early response test and it had a faint positive. Now knowing that chemical pregnancies are a thing and the fact that it was very faint, I didn’t get too excited or nervous because I just felt like nothing was confirmed.

The next day I decided to take another early response test to see if it was positive, and it was very clearly negative, and then the following day I got my period. The OB still ordered a blood HCG test which was negative as well. When I talked to the nurse at my OB’s office she let me know that it was either a false positive or a chemical pregnancy, which is basically when the embryo formed but didn’t continue developing. I truly feel like it was a chemical pregnancy just due to all of the weird symptoms I was having, but there really isn’t a way to know for sure.

I just want to make sure I am taking care of myself and my health so that in the future we can hopefully have healthy children of our own. I know that often people struggle to get pregnant, so it would be nice to know if I will have difficulties just so we can be somewhat prepared.

I know that everything happens for a reason, and I am exactly where I am supposed to be, so I am not too worried; worrying doesn’t change the outcome anyways. I am blessed to have such a great life partner who I got to quarantine with, and I’m glad we have advances in health and technology which will help me if ever needed in the future. I’m also super grateful that I am recovering and will feel 100% heading into Leo Season!! My birthday is less than two weeks away and I am here to celebrate! Here’s to a great week ahead!

Grateful 7/15

-I am grateful for the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I feel so blessed having such a loving, respectful, intelligent man as my life partner. To think that we met in high school and have managed to grow into the people we are now is absolutely incredible and more than I could have ever asked for; he makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. ♡

-I am grateful for my health. Although we are both under the weather currently, I am thankful that we are young and healthy and we will recover from our illnesses quickly. I’m grateful that we are able to take time for our bodies to rest so we can feel 100% soon! ♡

-I am grateful for our home. We are so lucky to have a home that has so much space for the two of us and that truly feels like ours. My home is my favorite place to be, and we have everything we could ever need. It’s truly a blessing to have a home and be able to afford our home. ♡

-I am grateful for technology; even though we are sick we can still order delivery from the tap of a finger. Whether it’s food or groceries, we’re able to get what we need without coming into contact with anyone else. As we rest we’re also able to watch Hulu, Netflix, Youtube… all things possible with technology! ♡

-I am grateful for books and podcasts. It’s truly amazing that we have a plethora of information always available to us. Listening to/reading from mental health advocates like Jay Shetty and Gabrielle Bernstein has really opened my eyes to new perspectives and has helped me with gaining a more positive mindset. I am forever grateful for both of them, as well as the many other authors I will come across. ♡

There are so many other reasons to be grateful, I just wanted to jot down a few this morning. I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!

Resting

I have been laying low the last few days as I’ve been having some health issues. I’m hoping today to see my primary care, but I am waiting on a call from their office. If I cannot see them, I’ll be going to immediate care or something because I am 99% sure I have a sinus/ear infection and I need some antibiotics.

Over the weekend I woke up with a nasty headache and it kinda lingered for a couple of days; it was hurting whenever I moved my eyes, and I can still feel the pressure if I look down. I also started having pain in my ears when I blow my nose, and I keep sweating a lot in my sleep. I had an on and off again low-grade fever and was off work Monday because I woke up with a fever. I was negative for covid thankfully, and I did work yesterday, but today is normally my scheduled day off so I’m going to use it to my advantage.

I often get really obsessive about really anything, so the problem when my health starts being weird is that I cannot stop googling my symptoms and freaking myself out. I know I’m going to be fine regardless, I just always have too many things going on at once. My hormones are all out of whack right now, so I’ve been super emotional and crying every day. Being sick also doesn’t help with that, because I always feel more emotional when I’m ill for whatever reason.

I took the whole day yesterday to just lay in bed; well, other than getting my covid test and a blood test one of my doctors ordered. I couldn’t help but feel guilty for not doing anything, even though I kept reminding myself that my body needs rest. Yesterday I felt a bit better, so after work I made sure to bring the garbage in, I emptied the dishwasher, cleaned the litter and started laundry. I threw a frozen pasta meal on the stove and was so proud of myself for getting everything done, even though I still was not feeling 100%.

When my boyfriend came home I was telling him how I got all this stuff done since I couldn’t do anything on Monday, and he just looked at me and said “You don’t feel well, you are supposed to rest. You don’t have to ‘make up for it,’ because resting is what you need to do. You shouldn’t feel guilty for that.”

I shouldn’t feel guilty for that… he’s right! And I knew he was right, because I had already had this battle in my head while I was laying in bed all day on Monday. I kept reminding myself that I have to listen to my body, and if we don’t take our rest days, our bodies will force us to take them.

Today I’m still gonna take it relatively easy, I just have a grocery pick up and hopefully I’ll just be able to see my regular doctor today instead of immediate care. I just want to feel myself again, so hopefully I will soon.

Another day, Another post

Today was my second Wednesday off after starting my new schedule! I got breakfast with a good friend for her birthday this morning, and once I was home I did some dishes and laundry. I made sure to get my groceries yesterday after work instead of today, so I had the whole day free to do whatever!

I listened to a few podcasts, went on a walk, and even was able to join Gabrielle Bernstein’s zoom call where she recorded an episode of “Dear Gabby!” I honestly almost chickened out, but I was so glad I didn’t! There were about 80 participants in the meeting, all of us could chat and we remained muted unless we were picked to ask her a question!

It was nice listening to other people and remembering that we are all truly so similar; imagine what we could accomplish if we’d just take the time to listen and have real conversations with others. I honestly even cried listening to her speak and answer questions, and again it was just happy tears feeling like I was where I was supposed to be!

Over the weekend I picked up a couple of Gabby’s books, one of which my mom was nice enough to get for me as an early birthday gift! We had gone out for breakfast together and went to the bookstore afterwards, and that’s where I picked up “Judgement Detox,” and then I found “Happy Days.” I was originally looking for “Happy Days,” so when I finally found it my mom said that would be my gift from her and my dad for my birthday, and I am so grateful!

I haven’t started them yet, as I am already currently reading two books, but I am ready to dedicate time to reading more again so I can move onto her books next! I have been feeling good lately and plan to keep it that way; I had to mute some accounts on instagram just to escape from some of the negativity and drama, and honestly I am proud of myself for setting that boundary.

For a while now I haven’t followed any news or radio shows, because I am tired of consuming tragedy after tragedy and feeling like everything I see is horrible. I’d rather feed my brain with positivity, growth, and happiness. I prefer to not be ignorant to the current events, but I can also seek information out on my own and try to find unbiased sources, rather than believing everything that people share on social media.

Social media definitely has major impacts on mental health (just google it), which is why I do my best to keep everything on my page positive and I like/save positive posts to help the algorithm share more of those things to my feed. We choose what we consume on a daily basis, make sure you pay attention to what you feed your brain.

Self-Care Sunday

I posted this photo on Instagram this morning and decided to share it here as well!

“self care means dedicating time to do the things that you love for yourself. self care means resting when your brain/body tells you that you need it. self care is deepening your awareness of your emotions and triggers, so you can be more in control of your own mindset. so many people will say they don’t have time for themselves, but this time is necessary. everyone deserves to be their best selves, not only for yourself, but for everyone around you. your partner deserves you at your best, your children deserve you at your best, and you deserve to feel you best. dedicate that time for yourself, because self care is NOT selfish, it is a necessity.”